Allotment diary. Sunday 6 January

First day this year at Plot 71. I get a steady hour in, mid-morning. Chilly, and still, but not quite frosty. I meet nobody, apart from the woman from the plot opposite, who judging from the clipboard in her hand as she passes breezily by, and the fact that I don’t see her on her actual plot, is acting in her capacity as committee member- an inspection of some sort, no doubt.

First observation of the year: something has been burrowing into the chippings that make up the pathways. What- squirrels? Rabbits? Moles? Dogs? Hedgehogs, I decide, on the basis of no knowledge whatsoever. I like hedgehogs though, and am vaguely aware that they may be classified as somehow endangered, so am pleased to think of myself as, however inadvertently, having facilitated the hibernation of one or several of the local population. Even if the unevenness underfoot occasioned by their unconfirmed seasonal home-making activity causes me to turn over on my dodgy left ankle during my initial royal walkabout of the plot, and consequently to interrupt the peace and birdsong with a sudden and most unceremonious yell- ‘Ah, Fuck!’.

After brief recuperation in the general shed area it is time to embark on the first jobs of the year. I keep to what I know- just looking to get my hand in. Put out some birdseed on the table (pleasingly, the yellow plastic plate the seed goes on had remained in place, held there by the two lengths of metal wire I’d entangled around it on the one brief visit over Christmas). A light dig over the one of the four small rectangular plots that is nearest to the compost bin, getting rid of whatever hardy weeds had survived the winter- and unearthing among them a treasure, in the form of the last surviving onion of the 2018 crop. Tiny, more like a spring onion really. But healthy-looking.

Then in the last twenty minutes I get ambitious. Start to hack away at the curvy, brick-bordered area to the side of the compost bin, to date uncultivated, which I fondly imagine as possibly half pond, half mid-size vegetable patch. The dead winter grass comes away surprisingly easily, and I’m soon able to survey a newly-created nearly-bald-patch approximately two yards square. Although actually the shape isn’t a square, it’s closer to a map of the Iberian Peninsula.

I’m tempted to forge onwards with the big fork into further virgin territory- northern Italy, perhaps. But I’ve got to get home and drive Frankie to Heald Green, where his under 15 football team are due to face the might of Cheadle and Gatley Scirocco in a 1PM kick-off. So I pick up the last onion of 2018 from its resting place atop the green Stockport Council wheelie bin which serves as a water butt, and head back to the Toyota Aygo for the thirty-second drive home.

Later that afternoon the tiny onion plays a walk-on part in Charlotte’s slow cooker vegetable curry. And Frankie’s team, similarly outsized within a heated and time-limited environment, emerge on the wrong side of a 2-8 scoreline, but show valiance worthy of any hardwearing root vegetable, especially during a second half which they actually win 2-1. Altogether, a bright enough start.

Comments

[looby]

I trust The Allotment Inspectorate didn't hear your oath.

I'm cheering for your little sturdy onion and the turnaround in Frankie's team's fortunes. You never know -- your home grown produce might be quite desirable in the years to come what with Brexit and climate change.

[daisyfae]

A good day, despite the disappointing final score on the pitch. There is a satisfaction in gardening - i miss this. Simply planting herbs in pots on my terrace isn't the same as turning clumps of earth.

[Jo Lyon]

I did not know we both had allotments! I just ordered my seeds today... X Jo (joella)

[MQ]

The last paragraph is absolutely inspired. Belatedly, a happy new year Mr Bee.

[jonathan]

Looby- the likelihood you invoke of us being saved from Brexit-related privation only by our own onions becomes less outlandish by each passing day! I'll be carefully stockpiling produce in the general shed area, and keeping all readers updated (and you will probably all fit into the general shed area, should we find Britain's stock of fresh produce becomes limited to that grown in SK2).

DaisyFae- great to have you dropping by. As a fellow gardener you'll be pleased I hope that there is more of this allotment stuff to come (indeed more posted today!). It does include plenty of digging though, so do prepare to have that spade-nostalgia brought to the surface afresh!

Jo/Joella- so great also to hear from you! Yes indeed we are fellow children of the earth! I think you've written more about your gardening exploits than me over the years though.. although I am maybe catching up!

MQ- what can I say! Except- thank you! And even more belated Happy New Year to you too! And I hope you appreciate the last sentences/ couple of sentences of the next two Sundays as posted today! (they are sort of, of a similar ilk I think).