G is for... Gone.
There's nothing your average two-year-old likes more than providing a running commentary on life as it passes by- and there is no word more invaluable for this commentary than the past-participle of the verb to go, which can be called into service to describe people, animals, and things which have left the room, become temporarily obscured, flown off over a hedge, been tidied away, been eaten, or simply done a runner.
Frankie (overjoyed): 'birdie!'
Jonathan: 'where's the birdie, Frankie?'
Frankie (suddenly downcast): 'birdie gone'.
Also reported 'gone' during the last 24 hours: the postman; the bubbles in the bath; the 18:21 train from Levenshulme to Hazel Grove; a plate full of Asda cocktail sausages; the tall, thin, drunken Irishman who lives at number 24.
H is for... Hey hey
The Koala Brothers is a charming Australian animation about a pair of helpful marsupials who phut-phut around over the outback in a battered old bi-plane looking for characters in need of assistance. The theme tune features the line 'hey hey hey hey help is on its way'. From this line Frankie has derived his own name for the show:
Jonathan: 'Let's see what's on the telly, shall we? Oh look- University Challenge!'
Frankie (having none of it): 'Hey hey! Hey hey again!'
I is for... Ice Ceam Man
Some day Frankie will learn how to pronounce those tricky words with two consonants together. Until then, we get to sigh with delight every time he misses the 'r' out of 'ice cream man', because it just sounds so goddam cute. See also 'posan' (postman); 'uh-sairs' (upstairs); 'seepy' (sleepy); 'pam' (pram).
J is for.... Jooloo
Frankie's name for Charlotte's sister Judy.
K is for.... King ladder garden
Sometimes Frankie will come out with nonsensical statements- jumbles of quickfire unrelated words- which he will keep repeating until the desired response is forthcoming. Usually we can work out what he is getting at- but occasionally we will be reduced to nodding our heads earnestly and just agreeing, like you might do with a cantankerous pensioner at the bus-stop:
Frankie (casually, pointing at slide): 'King-ladder-garden!'
Jonathan: 'what's that, love?'
Frankie: 'King ladder garden! King ladder garden!'
Jonathan: King ladder garden, love? What can you mean, exactly?
Frankie (furious at parent's inability to grasp simple concept of 'king ladder garden'): King ladder garden! King Ladder Garden! King Ladder Garden!
Jonathan (deadly serious): Yes, love, that's right. Of course it is.
Frankie: [apparently satisfied, wanders off in general direction of Stockport Road]
L is for... London
Our house is half-way up a short cul-de-sac of Victorian terraces wedged between the A6 Stockport Road and the main Manchester to London train line. Every twenty minutes or so the houses at the train line end shudder slightly as a bright-red Virgin express hurtles by at 135mph. Frankie takes a break from the important task of transferring all the pebbles in the garden into a bucket to tell us where he thinks it is off to:
'Yed train. London. Gone'
M is for... more moop
'Moop' is Frankie' word for milk- so it has become me and Charlotte's word for milk as well.
Charlotte (shouting down the stairs): 'Jonny, can you bring up some more moop?'
Jonathan (the next day at work, during an important business meeting): A coffee Mr Rigby? Yes of course- and would that be with moop at all?'
Mr Rigby: [stares at Jonathan like he is some kind of mad person. Starts to stuff files hurriedly into briefcase]
...
Next time out we delve into our two-year-old's head again, and fish out another half-dozen items of choice everyday vocabulary, starting with a certain two-letter word beginning with 'n', which we have gotten very used to hearing at bed-time, dinner-time, and at sundry other times where we would really much prefer to hear a three-letter word beginning with 'y'.
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