We have an away fixture this week- over at Ben's The Art Of Noise, which for a few weeks has been running a feature named 'In The Dock'. It's a sort of amalgam between Juke Box Jury, Twelve Angry Men, Room 101 and Vic and Bob's Wheel of Justice (or at least that was how I pitched it to Ben when responding to his call for content ideas a couple of months back) and the idea is that each week a defendant from the world of pop music takes the stand to answer trumped-up charges and face trial by comment box.
The first defendants to step forward were The Beatles (which you might say is a little harsh on Paul what with him having enough legal tribulations to be going on with already), but the fearless International Court Of The Art Of Noise does not limit itself to pursuing musical acts for crimes against good taste; other weekly instalments have seen the likes of the Eurovision Song Contest, the entire genre of R'n'B, and 'Songs With Associated Dance Routines' brought before the kangaroo court for the administration of summary justice.
As it was all my idea and everything, I got to have first go at deciding who to represent. I did briefly flirt with the idea of prosecting Saddam Hussein as that appears to be all the rage nowadays, but after cursory research revealed no evidence that the moustachioed despot's crimes against humanity included the release of any novelty Christmas singles or gatefold-sleeve concept albums, I decided to take the easy option and defend one of my favourite bands- the very charming (and maybe just ever-so-slightly twee) Belle and Sebastian.
At least I thought it was going to be easy. In the end I rather fear my hastily-scribbled-in-a-coffee-bar 750-word submission (Ben is being very strict on this count after an early transgression by an 'A' list blogger who shall remain nameless; a word over the limit and he takes a guillotine to you, which I am led to believe can be painful) has only succeeded in strengthening an already very strong prosecution case (most eloquently put, I am bound to say, by the other Jonathan) and altogether hastening my defendants' journey to the gallows.
All is not lost though- anyone is free to join the jury by leaving their vote in the Art of Noise comment box... and I am sure that all my loyal readers will leap at the chance to come to the aid of the embattled Glaswegian indiepopsters, even those of you who
(a) have not the first idea who Belle and Sebastian may be when they're at home
(b) can quite perfectly well see that the other Jonathan has made a much better case, while my so-called 'argument' keeps getting lost in lengthy transgressions on subjects such as second-hand cardigans, pale blue raincoats with big buttons, and girls with perfect 60s bobs.
No further questions. M'lud. I rest my case (now get yourselves over there, go on)...